Posted on: May 3, 2008 12:14 pm

The Tale of the Sleepy Virgin

There once was a man named Droopy, his closer fans called him Tracy, or was it Stacy? I can't remember, anyways...Droopy so badly wanted to be successful, having been born with St. Bernard eyes, he was unable to get anyone to truly fall in lovewith him. So.. He fell in love with himself, and his ego grew and it grew until he just couldn't buy enough mirrors. The NarcisisticDroopy nearly convinced himself that the sixth time around someone else might actually believe all of his B.S about being a leaderand hellp him out of the first round. He tried as hard as he could the first 4 games to take it all on his shoulders and actually make people believe he was a winner, but was unable, as not only did he throw up twice as many dumb shots as the next highest teammate, but never even made over 40 % of them. Droopy was so sad, as people were starting to remember his comments from the prior year about how if they didn't make it out of the first round it was "on him". Well, once again it was "on him".

After a stellar showing in the fifth game in which he torched the familiar foe a false hope began to creep into the minds of uneducated Rockets fans everywhere that having a selfish player like Droopy might actually get you somewhere; however, after the sixth and final game in which Droopy took all the shots he could and made many (in the first half). Everyone began to realize this familiar result, that Droopy would remain a first-round virgin another year. But maybe he learned something, as his enemy had seven players score in double figures and an eigth score eight. "Maybe sharing the the ball will help us win, I bet stopping taking ridiculous shots might do some good too!" thought Droopy,  "Kobe even learned to pass, and he's gonna finally get an MVP."

Droopy got over the loss quickly after staring in his mirror, looking at his shoe contract, and jersey sales. He then got together with his other loser friends "The wrong Answer" and Car Smell o' (alcohol) and they all lived happily ever after as their team's fans suffered through many more off season.


There is much to be learned from this sad story.... TEAMS win CHAMPIONSHIPS! Heck, they even get out of the first round! Forget individualism, there is a reason why the Celtics,Lakers,Spurs, and Pistons have banners! It's called Teamwork.

Us Jazz fans need to thank Tracy for sharing his sleeping pills with the rest of his team in game six. As for Tracy... "Go learn the words were and We're. Tracy-" We was tired" ,"The Jazz  players was rough tonight", and  "I, I, I, I , I,"

Will Droopy ever find someone to help him be playoff de-flowered? Probably not, with that giant head, mini brain, and narcoleptic disposition!

Bring on the Lakers!

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